me

maybe it is just me, maybe it is just the way i am, but life is too short to hate, to be filling it with sourness and anger,

i hated high school, not for the reasons everyone else did, i hated it because i moved around too many times, never allowed to settle and maintain a solid set of friends. never allowed to hold onto names and storylines with one clique, so i became a chameleon infusing myself and leaving parts of my story with friends just to physically leave them. i am a ghost of a girl, with memories scattered throughout countless lives, mainly good memories, funny memories, but still nothing solid, nothing holding me as a permanent fixture in any one single persons heart. i am a name, a set of eyes, lips, a car ride, loud music, etc.. easily replaced and interchangeable. Dolly parts for a Stupid girl.

on this same note, it caused me to be the most compassionate of hearts, because it’s easier to tell your secrets to mythical creature you’ll never see again. my heart is filled with secrets that aren’t mine, worries that aren’t mine, prayers that aren’t mine. but they became mine.

the bigger the heart, the more it sees – feels, the harder it breaks. the world adapts to hurt, and loneliness, to pain and hunger, to rising tidal waves and blinding rage… the world adapts to so much. if only humans could to.